how common is it to regularly say"I love you"?
In Chinese culture how common is it to regularly say"I love you"?
I can't remember a single time that my parentsexplicitly told me "I love you." However, I can clearlyremember the day I talked to my dad about KingLear.I told him about how sorry I felt for Learbecause he was betrayed by his daughters Goneriland Regan. Lear, knowing that he was getting old,decided to split his kingdom among his 3 girls. Heproclaimed that he would give the greatest share to the one who loved him most.
So, Goneril and Regan proceed to deceive their father with lavish expressions of love.Meanwhile the third daughter, Cordelia, refuses to participate in such false displays. She lovesher father too much, and she doesn't want to degrade herself to the level of her sisters.Instead, she says (in an aside): Then, poor Cordelia! And yet not so; since, I am sure, mylove's more richer than my tongue.
Lear is deeply offended and, in a cruel twist of irony, disinherits the only child who truly lovedhim. Sadly, he later gets kicked out of his own kingdom by the two daughters who claimed toadore him more than anything in the world.
My father's response to my retelling of the story was approximately the following:That's whyyou don't need to say "I love you." Just saying "I love you"doesn't necessarily mean your love isreal. But if you really love someone, you'll show it with your actions.So although I never heard the words "I love you" from my parents, I always felt loved becausethey told me in ways that speak much louder than words. I think many other Chinese feel thesame way.